carinascott: (Alec/Eliot)
[personal profile] carinascott
Title: Hindsight is 20/20
Author: Carina Scott (
[profile] nicknrick4eva )
Genre: Slash
Fandom: Leverage
Rating: FRM (NC-17)
Pairing: Alec Hardison/Eliot Spencer
Summary: Alec reflects on the past and wonders about the future.
Spoilers: Very minor ones for The Nigerian Job
Word Count: 1,923
Disclaimer: I don’t own, just having some fun. Please don’t sue.
Author’s Note: My first long (or longer) Alec/Eliot fic. Hope the voices ring true. Feedback is appreciated.

~*~

In hindsight Alec realizes he should’ve seen this coming. It was really obvious when he thought about it. But even so, as he watches his lover sleep, he’s surprised that they’d even arrived at this point.

It had been more than a year since he’d first lain eyes on Eliot Spencer. And it hadn’t been really much of a first meeting. He’d been more annoyed than anything. The thought of working with someone else, when he preferred working alone, was not something he’d looked forward to.

Parker he hadn’t really minded so much. Then again, he'd been kinda sweet on the perky blonde, so that might've had something to do with his lack of annoyance. And Nate didn't give him pause either. The former insurance investigator had chased him plenty of times before and he'd proven to be a worthy adversary. Alec figured it was better to work with the man rather than against him.

But Eliot just… rubbed him wrong. There was something about the man that just bugged the hell out of him. At the time he couldn’t really put his finger on it. Even now, he isn’t completely sure. But he assumes it has something to with Eliot’s eyes. The way they just seem to pierce through him to his soul, missing absolutely nothing. The crack about staying with his mother had been a little too accurate, because although Nana wasn’t his mother (at least not biologically), he’d only just moved out of her house about two months prior. Hell, he’d still had boxes that he hadn’t unpacked.

And even more than that was the fact that he’d actually enjoyed working with Eliot. Seeing first hand just what the other man did; it had made his blood boil, in a very pleasant way. But he’d pushed all of that aside.

No use fantasizing about something that would never happen. He would never see Eliot again after the job was complete.

Or so he’d thought.

But Dubenich’s double cross had tilted his world on its axis.

And he’d learned the true breath of a man like Eliot Spencer. When they’d realized that the building was rigged to blow, Alec had been terrified. He’d never been so near the possibility of death. And as death loomed, and he ran towards safety, he’d fallen. And then Eliot was there, yanking him up by his shirt and escorting him to safety.

He’d stood poised to shoot this man (by all appearances at least) just moments prior, yet Eliot hadn’t hesitated to save his life.

Yeah, when he thinks back, he really should’ve known that he would fall in love with the guy.

Unfortunately, that’s the problem.

He is in love with Eliot. Has shown him in every way. Even said it, for the first time to anyone, just last night.

And Eliot hadn’t said anything in return.

Sure he’d kissed him breathless and proceeded to fuck him through the mattress, but he’d never once uttered those three words.

And Hardison didn’t really know what to make of that.

Because, while it is true that Eliot is a man of few words, when he feels something strongly he isn’t afraid to say it. If he doesn’t agree to a job that Nate chose, or the way things are going, he speaks up. So the only thing Alec can assume from his lack of response is that Eliot doesn’t feel the same.

And he doesn’t know what to do with that.

He’s never been in this predicament.

He’s dealt with rejection and such plenty of times in the past. But as he’s never allowed himself to become as invested in anyone as he is in Eliot, he isn’t really prepared to deal with this. And he isn’t even sure it was a rejection. Eliot hadn’t run for the hills; he hadn’t cringed or turned away at Alec’s declaration. In fact he’d reacted exactly the way Alec had hoped he would, with the exception of the three little words.

And really, are the words that important? Does he really need to hear them that much? Will three little words validate or invalidate the connection he shares with Eliot?

Alec can’t honestly answer these questions. Not right now. Because right now all he can remember is the despair he’d felt once he realized that Eliot didn’t have any intention of saying it back. And though he’d allowed Eliot to pull him into a kiss, moaned in ecstasy as Eliot had thrust in and out of his body, and screamed with the force of his orgasm; a part of him is still hurt and angry over what feels like the ultimate rejection.

Sighing, Alec rolls over on his side, away from the warmth of the body next to him. Starring blindly at the clock, Alec feels that same pain and anger wash over him.

Feeling Eliot stir behind him, Alec stiffens. He isn’t sure what he’s expecting, but he’s startled at the feel of Eliot’s arms slipping over his hip, hand rubbing over his stomach. “ ‘lec, whatcha doin’ up? What time is it?”

“4:53. Go back to sleep.” Alec knows he’s holding his breath, but suddenly he’s overwhelmed with fear. Part of him is afraid that Eliot is gonna leave. That some how Alec’s declaration of love has driven the other man away. And another part of him hopes that it has. So he can watch Eliot walk out of the door, out of Alec’s life; so that he can get started on moving on. Because he knows that if this ends, sticking around, being part of the team; it will no longer be an option for Alec.
 
“What’s wrong?” Eliot asks, sounding annoyingly awake all of a sudden.

“Nothing. Can’t sleep, I guess,” Alec s

Eliot’s hand roams lower, “Maybe I can help with that.”

Alec stops him. There is no way he can have sex with Eliot feeling the way he does, “No, Eliot. I don’t think that’ll work.”

“Okay, sumthin' must be wrong. I don’t recall you ever turnin' down a hand job.”

“I’m just not in the mood, El. That’s all.”

“It’s more than that, Alec. I can tell.” Alec feels the bed shift and knows Eliot is getting up. “You know you can tell me, right?”

Alec blinks as light floods the room. Daring to look, Alec glances back at his lover and sees the concern on his face. Turning away, he stares blindly into the distance, “Yeah, I know.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong.” Eliot pleads, coming around to kneel in front of him. “Are you sick? Is that it? I told you that meat smelled funny, Alec.  You need some Pepto?”

Alec can’t help but laugh. With a small smile he replies, “No that’s not it. I’m fine.”

“Then what is it, Alec? I love you too much to sit here and watch you suffer just because you’re too stubborn to tell me what’s wrong. So just spit it out.”

Alec stares at Eliot in shock. Eliot loves him? Loves him? Alec blinks, “You love me?”

“Well, duh! I thought we covered this last night, Alec. You told me, I told you, and then we made love. Any of this ringing a bell?”

Alec sits up in the bed, “No! It doesn’t. If I recall correctly, and I know I do. I told you, you stared at me, then you kissed me and we made love. Never once did you say the words back, Eliot.”

“What?! No, I said it. I had to. Didn’t I? How could I not!?”

“I don’t know, but you didn’t. That’s what I’ve been buggin’ about for the last hour.”

“Really? That’s what has you up? You think I don’t love you?”

“What else would I think?”

Looking at Alec, Eliot smiles before it turns into a full on laugh.

Alec isn’t amused. “And what’s so damn funny?”

Catching his breath, Eliot smiles, leaning his forehead against Alec’s. “We are. Look at us. You’re fretting about me not saying I love you, I’m thinking you’re about to keel over from food poisoning. I swear, I can hear Sophie now, going on and on about how men can’t communicate. Guess she’d be right in this case, huh?”

Alec smiles, rolling his eyes, “Yeah, guess so. So, now that we’ve gotten past that, you wanna get back into bed?”

“Nope."

“Come on El, it’s after 5am. Parker will be here in a few hours."

"Parker?"

"Yeah, Parker. It's Saturday, in case you forgot."

"Ah, Tom & Jerry. Why don't you just TiVo it for her. She can watch it later."

"I told her that."

"And?"

"And nothing. Said she likes it better when she can watch it with us. Besides, she likes to eat her fortune cookies while she watches. And you know she'll only eat them for breakfast.”

“You spoil her, you know that.”

“Like you don’t.”

“Whatever. Like I said, I’ve got one last thing to do before I can get back into bed.”

“Fine. I’m going back to sleep.” Alec responds, laying back down and pulling the blankets around him.

Eliot stands and watches him for a few moments before Alec realizes he is being watched. “What?”

Shaking his head, Eliot looks down at him. “Nothing….I just - I want to make sure you hear me when I say this."

Eliot just stares at Alec for a while before Alec frowns, "Well? What is it?"

Eliot smiles, "I love you, Alec.”

Alec can’t help but smile as Eliot leans in and kisses him deeply.

Breaking the kiss, Alec rolls to his side. “I love you too. Now get your ass in the bed. We’ve got about 2½ hours before 20 pounds of crazy is pounding on the front door.”

“You should really give her a key. Then we could sleep in.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea? Parker is an admitted voyeur. And I just showed her how to post videos to the Internet. Unless you want your naked ass posted all over the net, I think we should keep her access to places we have sex to a limit.”


Giving it some thought, Eliot shakes his head. “Maybe your right. So I guess I should take the key I gave her back, huh?”

Sitting up, Alec stares at Eliot. "You gave her a key to your place?"

"Nah, just wanted to see your reaction." Eliot laughs, and ducks, as Alec tries to hit him with a pillow.

"Laugh it up, Eliot. And while you're at it, you'd better get reacquainted with your right hand." Alec rolls his eyes, rolling over onto his side, away from Eliot.

Eliot climbs into the bed, spooning up behind his lover, "Aww, come on Alec. I like your hands better."

Alec smirks, "You could make it up to me."

Eliot kisses his bare shoulder, "And how do you think I should do that?"

"You can pick up where we left off last night," Alec replies, turning so he’s facing Eliot.

"Sounds like a plan," Eliot answers, leaning in for a kiss.

----

Parker sighs, sitting down in the hall outside Alec's apartment door. "They better have a good reason for making me miss out on Tom & Jerry," she mumbles, munching on a fortune cookie.

She smirks as she hears a low moan through the door. “Guess that’s a pretty good reason.”

Putting the rest of the cookie into her mouth, Parker searches her bag for her lock-picking set.

END

March 2009

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