The Perfect Alibi (3/3)
Jul. 31st, 2006 12:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
carinascottTitle: The Perfect Alibi (3/3)
Author:nicknrick4eva
Fandom(s): CSI: Vegas
Genre: Slash
Pairing/Characters: Warrick/Gil, Nick Stokes, Jim Brass, Hank Gribbs (OMC), Sara Sidle, Catherine Willows, Greg Sanders.
Rating: FRAO
Summary: the investigation is over, what happen's next?
Author:
nicknrick4evaFandom(s): CSI: Vegas
Genre: Slash
Pairing/Characters: Warrick/Gil, Nick Stokes, Jim Brass, Hank Gribbs (OMC), Sara Sidle, Catherine Willows, Greg Sanders.
Rating: FRAO
Summary: the investigation is over, what happen's next?
Warnings: partner betrayal, language.
Sequel to The Perfect Alibi (part II)
Notes: Sorry it took so long to post the conclusion. I had a death in the family and my life has been a little chaotic.
Sequel to The Perfect Alibi (part II)
Notes: Sorry it took so long to post the conclusion. I had a death in the family and my life has been a little chaotic.
Gil’s POV
Grabbing his hand, I looked into his barely open eye, and whispered, “Welcome back, love. How are you feeling?”
Smiling weakly, Warrick signed to me that he needed water. After pouring him some water into a cup, I held it for him as he drank from the straw. “As well as can be expected, I guess. You look like hell though.”
“I’m fine now that you are awake. But you should be resting, not worrying over me; I wasn’t the one that was shot.”
Laughing quietly, “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be forgetting that anytime soon.” Sighing deeply, “Nick told me Jim and Cath caught the guy that shot me. Holly‘s brother, huh? I guess I can understand his reasoning. He holds me responsible for his sister’s death, so did the media. Hell, I still feel responsible for it, something I have to live with everyday.”
“He might have his reasons for what he did, but it doesn’t excuse it.” Reaching up, I cupped Warrick’s cheek, “Baby, you were right, Sara was behind this too. She didn’t pull the trigger, but she might as well have, she’s just as culpable. So am I. I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you; I should have known you were telling the truth. Warrick, I am so sorry.”
“Nick told me about Sara too; well he gave me the basics. It’s still hard to believe she would do all of this because she thought I was a threat to her happiness, but I’ll have a scar to remind me. And I do accept you apology Gil, however late it may be.”
Trying to ignore the bitterness in his voice, I leaned forward to kiss him, only to feel him pull away. Looking into his eyes in confusion, he continued, “Gil, from what Nick and the doctor’s told me, I was unconscious for several days. I’m assuming that in that time you at least went home.” Nodding yes, I watch as Warrick’s beautiful eyes fill with tears. “So I know you saw the letter I wrote to you. Although I forgive you, I still mean everything that I wrote in that letter. It’s over between us Gil.” Letting go of my hand, Warrick rolled over to his side, his back facing me.
Stunned I stared at his back for several minutes. I notice the slight tremor of his shoulders as he tried to suppress his cries.‘It’s over between us Gil,’ Warrick’s voice echoed in my head. In a matter of my moments I had regained and lost the love of my life. With that realization, I left the hospital. I noticed the shock registering on Nick’s face, probably due to the tears streaming down mine, but I didn’t care. All that I had ever cared about was lying in a hospital bed wanting nothing to do with me.
~*~
That was two months ago, and my life since then has changed drastically. Warrick has returned to work, after requesting to be transferred back to Swing shift under Catherine. I can’t blame him; I wouldn’t want to work with me either. A day after our break up, he called me. The conversation was brief; he told me that he wanted to send Nick to pick up his things, as he would be staying with Nick until he found an apartment. He asked if I could pack up his things, if I couldn’t he said he would just come and get them once he was released. As much as I wanted to see him, I told him not to worry that I would pack the things up for him. Packing his things was torture for me. I had never realized exactly how much stuff I had given Warrick over the course of our relationship. There was the lion I had won for him in at Circus Circus, the green eyes and mane reminded me of Warrick. Then there was the Bob Marley belt I had bought him. Although I thought his taste in belt buckles was a little ostentatious, I knew he would love it, and he did. Then there was the portrait of his Grandmother that I had painted for him after she died. He cried in my arms that night. As I continued to pack his things, I realized how much Warrick had enriched my life and how empty I would feel once he was gone.
When Nick came to pick up Warrick’s belongings, he kept apologizing. I told him that he had no reason to apologize.
“But Grissom, I treated you terribly when Warrick was in the hospital. I wouldn’t even let you see him!” Nick exclaimed.
“You did what you felt was best for Warrick, Nicky. I think you were probably right anyway. He didn’t need me around; he needed his rest so he could heal.”
“I’m still sorry, Griss. I should have been a better friend to you.
“Warrick is your best friend Nick; I would have been more upset if you hadn’t done what you needed to make sure Warrick was safe. In keeping his best interest in mind, you were a better friend to me than you know. So stop beating yourself up, me and you are fine. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good, now get outta here.”
“Yeah, I guess I better get going,” Nick said as he turned to leave, the last box of Warrick’s stuff in his hands. “Gil, I’m really sorry things turned out this way, I really wish you guys could have worked it out.”
“Me too, Nicky. Me too,” I replied as I shut the door behind him.
Nick’s POV
When I walked out of Gil’s apartment, my heart was heavy. The only time I had seen Grissom looking so sad was the night Rick broke up with him. I knew it was coming, but there was nothing I could do about it.
~*~
I had only just hung up with Gil ten minutes before, when Warrick’s nurse called me on my cell. “He’s awake,” was all I heard before I jumped in my Tahoe and raced to the hospital. I knew I should call the others and tell them, but I had to make sure he was okay. It might have been selfish, but I couldn’t help it. When I reached the hospital, I parked and ran to Rick’s room. The doctor was just leaving when he saw me. “Mr. Stokes, he’s fine. There was need for you to rush so quickly.”
Breathless, “Well, when I receive a call….saying my best friend… is awake… you bet your ass I rushed.”
Laughing, Dr. Thompson replied, “Well, I guess that’s understandable. Anyway, Mr. Brown is doing well. He is still breathing on his own and his vitals are strong. He is a fighter; otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to make it this far. His body has been through a lot so he needs his rest.”
“How long before he can be released?”
“That all depends on Mr. Brown. If he continues to progress at his current rate it will be about two weeks at the very least.”
“Can I see him?”
“Yes, but not for too long. Like I said he needs his rest and not too much excitement.”
“Thanks, Doc,” I said before entering Warrick’s room. I stood there watching him as he slept, watching the rise and fall of his chest.
“You gonna stand there staring at me all day, or are you gonna say something?” Warrick asked, opening his eyes, with a slight smile on his lips.
Not missing a beat I replied, “I was just waiting for you to stop playing possum.” Pulling up a chair beside his bed, “How are you buddy? You had us all scared shitless.”
“Chest hurts like hell, but the meds are helping with that. Sorry about scaring you didn’t mean to.”
“Don’t worry about me; it’s not your fault you’re here. Man! Everyone’s gonna be so happy when they hear you’re awake.”
“Yeah, especially Sara, she’ll be thrilled.”
“She was arrested 'Rick. Jim and Cath found the man that shot you and he fingered her as his accomplice. All the evidence we have proves it.”
“I told you. Who was the shooter anyway?”
“I told you I believed you. Anyway, it was Hank Gribbs, Holly’s brother. He blamed you for her death, and with Sara’s help, he almost killed you to get his revenge.”
“Holly’s brother? Well, I guess he let his hatred for me grow for years how, not that I blame him. I still blame myself sometimes, but Jim has been helping me get over it as much as possible. How did he meet up with Sara?”
“'Rick, we can talk about that when you get more of your strength back, right now you need to rest.”
“Yes, mom. Anyway, where is everyone? I thought people would be busting at the seams to see me,” Warrick replied with a smirk.
“Conceited much? I haven’t called anyone yet, I just rushed over here as soon as I got the call. I was gonna call them as soon as I saw for myself that you are okay.”
“Well, could you do me a favor? Call Gil first, I need to talk to him before I see anyone else. Can you do that for me?”
Sensing by the furrow in Warrick’s brow that his conversation with Gil wasn’t going to be pleasant, I said, “Warrick, now is not the best time for you to talk to Gil, you know what happened last time. We almost lost you. Wait until you get stronger, then you can talk to him, please.”
“Nick, you are my best friend, so I know you are trying to do what’s best for me. But I have to talk to Gil as soon a possible. If you won’t call him for me, I’ll have a burse bring me a phone, and I’ll do it myself.”
Groaning in frustration, “Stubborn ass. Okay Rick, I’ll call Gil, but after you talk to him, promise me you will get some sleep, please.”
“I promise. Now go!”
Holding up my hands in mock surrender, “Okay, okay. I’m going!”
~*~
When I arrived at the lab, everyone was back to work. Greg saw me coming down the hall and made a beeline for me. “What’s up Nick?”
“Nothing much.” I know I promised Warrick, but I couldn’t help myself, besides Greg wouldn’t tell anyone. “Just that Warrick’s awake.”
“Really?!” Greg squealed.
“Keep your voice down. Yes, really, he just woke up and he’s doing fine, but he still has a long road to recovery ahead of him.”
“Sorry, I’m just glad he’s gonna be okay. I’ve missed you since he’s been sick. I know it’s selfish, but maybe know you can spend sometime at home instead of the hospital.”
Pulling Greg into the locker room, I looked around before stealing a kiss. “I’m sorry, but I’ve missed you too. And my back missed our comfy bed,” I said as I stretched, hearing the popping of my protesting back.
“Well, maybe if you’re good, I’ll give you a massage.”
“When, am I not good? Even when I’m bad, I’m so good at it,” I said with a lick of lips. “Don’t do that! I have six more hours of work, and it’s gonna be a little difficult to concentrate with all the little dirty images you are putting in my mind.”
Kissing him again, “Sorry, but I promise to make it up to you. Where’s Gil?”
“Thanks, that’s a great way to kill the mood. He’s in his office, why do you ask?”
“Warrick wants to see him. And before you say it, I know. I told Warrick it’s not a good idea, but he insisted. Said if I didn’t he would do it himself. Knowing him, I don’t doubt he would. So, here I am. I’ll see you in a bit,” I said as I turned to leave. “And Greg? Don’t tell anyone that Warrick’s awake. He wants to talk to Griss first before he sees anyone else.”
“It’s my little secret. See ya later, Nick.”
Closing the door behind me, I headed to Gil’s office, knocking quietly. “Go away,” is what I got in response. Peeking my head in, I saw Gil rubbing the bridge of his noise. Before I could say anything, Grissom said, “Nick, I don’t feel like discussing it right now. I know Warrick was right, and I know I should have listened to him. I just don’t have the energy to deal with your guilt trip and mine at the same time.”
I know I didn’t deserve his patience, considering how I had treated him during the entire ordeal, so I simply told him “Warrick’s awake,” before closing the door and walking away.
Moments later, I heard Grissom’s hurried footsteps down the hall. By the time he reached the exit, he was running. ‘Too bad he doesn’t realize what he’s running to.’
I reached the hospital just in time to prevent Grissom from throttling the on duty nurse. “I need to see him!”
“I’m sorry sir, but Mr. Stokes hasn’t added you to the approved list of visitors and at this time Mr. Brown is not allowed to make that decision.”
“Whoa, whoa! It’s okay , ma’am. He can see Warrick, I just forgot to put him on the list.”
“Okay sir, if you say so. Just as long as he doesn’t upset Mr. Brown, it’s fine.”
“He won’t. Come on Griss.” I lead him to Warrick’s room, then left him and returned to the waiting room. As I waited, I could only imagine what was happening in that room. Before he was shot, Warrick had told me how it seemed Gil was looking for any reason to push him away. Sara’s actions didn’t help and neither did Gil’s obvious lack of trust in him. I always wondered if Gil had done so on purpose, you know pushing Warrick away. There had to be a reason for the sudden unwavering belief in Sara. Leaning against the waiting room, I hoped that whatever it is, Gil could make it up to Warrick. Everyone always spouts off about how much Warrick helped Gil. No one seemed to notice was just how much good Gil did for Warrick. He wasn’t as hot-headed as he once was, he was a lot happier, and he was more relaxed. I know I hadn’t been exactly rooting for Warrick/Gil lately, but that was just anger and fear talking. Gil was right for Warrick, they complimented each other in a way I never thought possible.
I looked up when I saw Gil coming out of the ICU area. He was crying! I hadn’t seen many men cry in my life, not including myself, and Gil was the last person I ever expected to see tears from. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence, just walked right out of the hospital, tears streaming down his face. I immediately called Catherine and told her what happened. She of course promised to rip me apart for not telling her Warrick was awake, but I told her that Gil needed her right away. She haung up with me, telling me she was heading to his condo.
Turning my phone off, I slipped it into my pocket, and headed to Warrick’s room. The sight I saw upon entering broke my heart. My best friend was lying on his side, facing the wall opposite the door, trying to control his sobs. Moving closer to the bed, I could hear the soft cries coming from him. I moved the chair from earlier around to the other side of the bed, and sitting down I reached my hand out, squeezing Warrick’s hand. That’s all it took, and he broke down in my arms, with heart wrenching sobs. I had never seen Warrick so broken, not even after his Gram’s died. Yeah, he cried but I had never seen the pain on his face that I saw then. He really loved Gil and it was killing him not to be able to be with him. His sob’s became more uncontrollable and his blood pressure began to rise. Pushing the call button, I waited for the nurse to come into the room. Holding my friend in my arm, I asked her if she could get the doctor and explain what was going on. She nodded, leaving the room quietly. Dr. Thompson entered the room just as quietly, upon seeing Warrick, he pulled out a syringe, and emptied its contents into Warrick’s IV. “What’s that?” I asked.
“A mild sedative, it will help to calm him down. He should be fine tomorrow.”
As Warrick’s cries got softer, I asked the doctor, “Are you sure? I’ve never seen him like this.”
“Yes, he should be fine. There’s nothing that we can do for what he’s feeling right now. Heartbreak has to mend on its own,” Seeing my look of confusion, he clarified, “The nurse described to me the gentlemen that was here before his breakdown. Mr. Grissom I believe. From what happened before, I gathered that they are, were, in a relationship. It would seem to me that one of them ended it today. So like I said, heartbreak must heal on its own. All you can do is to be there for him when he needs you to be.”
“Thanks, Dr. Thompson.”
“I’ll send the charge nurse in with a blanket for you Mr. Stokes, goodnight.”
“Goodnight Doc.”
~*~
The next morning, Warrick was very quiet, barely touching his food. When Catherine and Greg came by he perked up a little, but not much. They didn’t stay long, knowing the reason for his despondency. Warrick, being the good friend he is, told me to go home. “Go home, Nick. Greg probably misses you, ain’t that right Greggo?”
“Not really, he hogs the covers. He can stay here as long as he wants. See ya, Rick.”
With a small smile on his face, Warrick replied, “See ya Greg. Bye Cath.” Catherine leaned over, placing a gentle kiss to his cheek, “See you later Warrick.” As she passed me on the way out, she whispered in my ear, “Take care of him Nicky, he needs you,” before placing a kiss to my cheek and heading out the door. Greg squeezed my hand, gave me a nod of understanding, and followed her out the door.
Taking my vacant seat next to his bed, I gently squeezed Rick’s hand. “How ya doing buddy?”
“I miss him, Nicky. I didn’t think it would hurt this much, but I feel like a piece of my heart is missing.”
“I won’t tell you I know how it feels, ‘cause I don’t. All I can say is that it will get easier with time. I’ll be here if you need me, you know that.”
“Can you do me a favor?”
“Name it.”
“Can you pick my things up from Gil’s place?”
“Are you sure you want to do that Rick?”
“No, but I have to. It’s over between us. As much as this hurts, nothing can compare to the way it felt to see his lack of trust in me day in and out. Believe me, there is no chance I will go back to him.”
“If you’re sure. Do you want me to call him?”
“No, I’ll do it. Might as well get used to talking to him, I will have to see him when I go back to work.”
I sat there as he used the phone, his voice emotionless as he arranged for me to pick up his things the next day. After he hung up, he rolled onto his side, facing away from me, and went to sleep.
I sat there and watched my friend and prayed that things would work out somehow.
The next day, as I left Gil’s house, I prayed that prayer again. The despair in Gil’s eyes was unbearable, but I didn’t know what to do.
~*~
TWO MONTHS LATER:
Catherine’s POV
When Sara and Hank reached a plea deal I was happy. I don’t think Warrick or Gil could have handled it. Luckily Warrick has had Nick and Greg to help him. They were by his side during the aftermath of his breakup with Gil, picking up the pieces, and slowly putting him back together. He stayed with them for a while after he was released from the hospital, before moving into his own apartment. They helped him get settled in, staying nights, although he hadn’t asked them to. Warrick was uncomfortable staying alone, mostly due to the thing with Sara, but also because he was used to having someone around after being with Gil for so long. Eventually he got used to it, and Nick and Greg stopped staying over, except for the occasional time when they had too much to drink and he wouldn’t let them drive home. So they slept in his guest room.
Gil on the other hand is a different story. As I enter Gil’s office, I find him sitting there quietly doing a crossword puzzle. He looks terrible; the last two months have definitely taken a toll on him. He’s lost weight, and he rarely does anything outside of work. He hasn’t even ridden a rollercoaster in all this time. Believe me; I actually went down to that damn place to see if Gil had been there. His friend told me he hadn’t seen him in months. That was the last straw. Instead of going home after my shift, one of the few in a long time that wasn’t a double, I went to Gil’s office. “Get up off of your ass and go get your man, Gil!”
Looking at me startled, he replies, “Catherine, I realize you are trying to help, but Warrick made his choice. He doesn’t want me.”
Sitting down in front of his desk, “Dammit Gil! Even Sara was willing to fight for you. Are you saying Warrick deserves less than that? How can you sit here and let your man go off with someone else without putting up a fight?”
“Warrick’s seeing someone? Who?”
“Oh, now you’re interested?”
“Please Cath, just tell me.”
“Okay. He hasn’t been seeing him for long, but I know he has been dating a fireman named Jeff Swanson. All I know is that if you want your man, you better go after him before it’s too late.”
“If Warrick’s dating someone, he has obviously moved on. You should too.”
“You know what Gil? As your best friend, I have one thing to say. You are an idiot! No wonder Warrick broke up with you, you couldn’t get a clue even if it was put on display in Neon signs. Warrick wants you to fight for him. After you didn’t stand by him over the Sara debacle, you think it’s gonna be easy? Well, it’s not! You are going to have to fight for him. He doesn’t trust you Gil, with good reason. You had better give him a damn good reason to even consider giving you another chance!”
“Cath--”
“No, Gil. I don’t want to hear any excuses. Warrick loves you, for whatever reason, he still loves you. He is only seeing this Jeff guy on the rebound, but that’s now. How long do you think that’s going to last? If you keep on waiting for him to come back to you, you will be waiting for the rest of your life. Warrick is a great catch, if he wasn’t gay, I would go after him myself. Having said that, there are some men out there that would love to have a prize like Warrick for themselves and if you keep waiting around, they are going to get him. Think about this long and hard, before you let the best thing that ever walked into your life go!”
With that, I walked out of his office leaving a stunned Gil Grissom staring after me. I love them both, and Gil is my absolute best friend, but he can be so oblivious at times! Hopefully that little tirade of mine will be the wake up call he needs.
Jim’s POV
“Why don’t you give him a call?”
“Who?”
“The Easter Bunny, Gil!. Who do you think? I’m talking about Warrick. I have been talking to you for the last 20 minutes and you haven’t heard a word I said. Plus, you’ve been holding that damn ladybug statue he gave you since I started talking. Call him, it’s obvious you want to.”
“Have you been talking to Catherine?”
Confused, I reply, “Catherine? No, I haven’t spoke with her since I worked that case with her at the Montecito the other day. Why?”
“She came into my office and told me to get off my ass and fight for Warrick.”
“Maybe you should listen to her. Look Gil, I know that it’s hard to swallow your pride and apologize for what you’ve done. But I have also learned that forgiveness can lead to great things. Look at my relationship with Warrick. We started off in the worst way, but we rose above our differences, and we are better for it. I love him like a son, and I knowhe loves me. He loves you too, he’s just hurt.”
“I apologized to him Jim, he said he forgave me, but he still broke up with me.”
“Gil, you always say follow the evidence, the evidence doesn’t lie. What exactly do you think the evidence is telling Warrick? You apologized sure, but words are just that, words. You haven’t fought for him, mad no drunken tirades for his love in the middle of the night. Hell, Gil you hardly speak to him at work. The evidence is speaking loud and clear. It says, ‘Warrick, I don’t love you. It was a mistake I ever got together with you. You are not worth fighting for.’ At least that what it says to Warrick.” Turning to face my friend, “Gil, look at me. Warrick needs you. You need him. Not to sound like a scene from Jerry Maguire, but you guys complete each other. So get up off your ass and fight for your man!”
“How do I do that?”
“I don’t know, you have to figure that out for yourself. Think about the one thing that you know Warrick wanted from you when you were together, that you couldn’t give. Then give it to him. That’s the only advice I can give you.”
“Thanks Jim, for everything.”
“Hey what are friends for? Now, I’ve got to get home, my bed is calling me. You gonna be alright?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Goodnight Jim.”
“Goodnight Gil,” I say as I walk out of Gil’s condo into the sunlight. Hopefully Gil will take my advice and prove to Warrick that he loves him. Warrick may be saying he doesn’t want Gil back, but the evidence is speaking loud and clear. Putting on my shades, I get in my car, and drive home.
Gil’s POV
Gil,
By the time you read this letter, I have at least let you know that I can no longer be in a relationship with you. Most likely I left a lot of your questions unanswered. You probably have no idea why this has happened. As sad as that is, I know you. So here is a brief explanation.
Over the course of our relationship I tried to over look some of the things you did as just part of you being you. I can understand that you like your privacy, which is why I never pushed you to tell our friends about our relationship. Catherine already knew, and Greg probably had figured it out after that time in your office. He might not have caught us kissing, but they way he avoided my eyes every time I tried to talk to him that night pretty much told me everything. It came out eventually but I think we should have told Jim and Nick sooner. Good thing Brass and Nick took it in stride. So I let that slide, no need to dwell on what I couldn’t change. I even understood that sharing your emotions with me is hard; I have the same problem occasionally. So I never held that against you because I understood it. I know you love loved me, you always showed me in the little ways, even if you couldn’t say it very often.
Then there’s Sara. She has been a constant thorn in my side from day one. First it was only because she hated the thing with Holly, which I could understand a little. She was only doing her job, and our relationship as coworkers began on the wrong foot. I was able to put that aside and keep things between us professional. It only escalated when she discovered our relationship. Remember the day I told you Sara had seen us in the locker room? You were horrified, afraid that she would out us to Ecklie. I told you she wouldn’t, that would mean she had to acknowledge that we were actually together, which would eliminate any possibility of her getting together with you. You told me I was being crazy, that Sara wasn’t interested in you. Then she asked you out, and you were dumbfounded. You let her down gently, thinking that was the last of it. I told you later what happened between me and her in the break room, the threats she made. I admit, it was inappropriate for me to confront her at the lab, but it didn’t excuse her behavior. I know it must have been a shock learning about us, but having the nerve to ask you out afterwards? I told you about her threat when we got home, which you again said was ridiculous, that she couldn’t have really meant it. I agreed, feeling that it was simply her anger talking. Then things started to happen every time I worked with her. Evidence mysteriously disappeared, only for her to discover it later. Notes and presentations were deleted from my computer before my appearances in court. I told you I suspected it was Sara, but again, you refused to believe she was capable of it. The only time you believed that she had done anything was when Greg backed me up. Even then you just said it was a miscommunication, so once again, not really serious. Then you had the audacity to tell me that unless I took sometime off to get my head straight, you would restrict me to lab duty only! I left that night, completely bewildered that you could think so little of me. As I lay in that hotel bed, I reflected on our relationship.
When everything happened with Holly you sacrificed everything, your reputation, your peer’s respect, and your career, all to stand by me. I think I fell in love with you at that moment; the devotion you showed me was like nothing I have ever experienced from anyone other than my grandmother. After that I made it my mission to prove my worth to you. I worked hard and we even became friends. I had only wanted to earn your respect, but gaining your friendship was a bonus. Then you opened up to me and confided that you were scared to be alone in your home since your hearing had started to get worse. I wanted to alleviate that fear so I decided to stay at your house until you had your surgery. The look of shock on your face was worth the possibility that you might slam the door in my face. But you didn’t and we grew closer in that week and the three days after you were released from the hospital. We worked together more often, took breaks together, and you laughed at my jokes, even the lame ones. Then morning after breakfast, you asked me back to your place for coffee, I took a chance and kissed you. I held my breath until I felt you kissing me back. Today is the first time I have ever regretted taking that chance.
Gil, I don’t know what I have done to make you lose faith and trust in me. Whatever it is, I wish I could change it, but I can’t. If love, trust, and devotion to you are not enough to earn your trust in me, then I am sorry. I can no longer make myself crazy with trying to please you. You have told me repeatedly that you have no interest in Sara, and while I believe you, I don’t believe you can love me the way I need you to. I deserve better than that. As much as I love you, I realize it’s not enough. So, as much as it tears my heart apart to do this, I have to. It’s over Gil.
Sincerely,
Warrick
That’s the letter Warrick wrote me after our argument. I have read it several times since our breakup, but today it strikes a chord with me that I hadn’t felt before. As I wipe the tears from my eyes and fold up the letter, I know what I must do.
Getting in my car, I think about what my friends said. Catherine and Jim are right, I have to fight for Warrick. My betrayal cannot be forgiven by mere apologies. I have to show Warrick just how much I love him. I have tell him exactly how much he means to me.
Pulling up to the jewelry store, I take off my shades, before going in. I look around at all of the display cases, waiting until my eyes land upon just what I am looking for. “I’ll take that one,” I tell the saleslady.
“Great choice sir. Would you like to add an inscription?”
“How long does it take before it will be ready?”
“Two weeks, with an additional fee of $30 dollars. Three days if you want it rushed, which costs and assitional $75.”
“Put a rush on it.”
“Okay sir, I’ll put a rush on it. You can write down what you would like the inscription to read on this form, give as detailed a description of what you want as possible, so our engraver can be accurate. Don’t forget to include your contact information, in case we need to contact you for any reason,” she said handing me a form.
I quickly fill in the correct information, while she rings up my purchase. Handing the form over, she hands me back my credit card and receipt, “Thank you, have a nice day.”
“You too, sir.”
I pull my cell phone out of my pocket as I get into my car, turning the air conditioner on.
“Willows.”
“Catherine, its Gil. I’m trying to take your advice but I need your help. Can you meet me at my house after your shift?”
“Sure, I’ll be there.”
“Thanks Cath,” I say before hanging up. I know Jim’s gonna be pissed, but it was his idea too, so I pull out of the jewelry store parking lot and head to his house.
Once I get to his house, I rush up to his front door. Knocking loudly, I hear him curse as he makes his way to the door, “I’m coming!” Swinging the door open forcefully, “Gil? What the hell are you doing here this early shouldn’t you be asleep, I know I was.”
“Well, too bad. Put on a pot of coffee, we’ve got work to do.”
Greg’s POV
I don’t know why he choose me, I just know Gil called and asked me to rush over to his house. I didn’t question it, as it is the first sign of life he has shown in two months, and I’m curious as to the change. That’s how I find myself here at a restaurant with Warrick, instead of at home asleep, where I would rather be. Don’t get me wrong, I want to help Gil, but why did he have to choose my one off day for his little… whatever. I don’t even know what’s going on, he would only give me instructions as to what he was doing. Once he assured me he wasn’t trying to hurt Warrick, I agreed to help him. If this meant that him and Warrick would at least be on speaking terms, who am I to argue?
“Greggo, you look a little nervous. What’s up?” Warrick says, staring at me intently.
“Nothing, I just feel a little funny all dressed up.”
“So, why did you ask me to such a fancy place?”
“Well, Nick was complaining about us never going out to fancy places, so I thought I would try this out first,” I lie. Nick hates getting dressed up to go out to eat. ‘I’m a beer and barbecue kinda guy, G. Who needs a suit to eat that?’ he always tells me.
“Why did you invite me instead of Nick?” Warrick asks, taking a drink from his wine glass.
“Well, I wanted to try the food out first, before I bring Nick here. It’s our three month anniversary next week, and I want to take him somewhere special. It would kinda ruin the mood if the food sucked, right?”
Laughing, Warrick replies, “Yeah I guess so. When are we gonna eat anyway?”
As if on cue, the waitress brings over our meals at that moment, in covered trays, “I ordered for us, I hope you don’t mind. It’s Nick’s favorite meal and I wanted your opinion.”
“Well, let’s dig in then.”
“Go ahead and start without me. I’ll be right back,” I say, leaving the table before Warrick can protest. My part of the plan is complete, so I am free to go home and collapse into my bed. Once I get these damn clothes off!
Warrick’s POV
Something’s up, I can feel it. Greg’s always very animated, but never this nervous. And I know Nick hates fancy places like the place Greg has bought me to. Greg knows this, I’m sure of it. But I’ll humor him.
Eating dinner with him is better than the alternative: sitting at home watching some idiotic sitcome or going out on a date with Jeff and comparing him to Gil the whole time. ‘Gil doesn’t hold his fork like that,’ Gil doesn’t laught like that’, Gil’s smile is so much sexier.’ I drive myself comparing everyone I date to Gil. I like Jeff, but I think he knows this is going nowhere. He didn't even wuestion it when I cancelled our date tonight so I could go out with Greg.It’s been hell since Gil and I broke up, especially since he won’t even look at me. As hard as I knew it would be, I had hoped we could at least be friends.
‘Where the hell is Greg?’ I think as my stomach growls. Looking around, I see he is no where to be found. ‘Forget it.’ I think before lifting the top on my tray. Instead of food, I find a letter. The envelope simply reads: To Warrick.
‘What the hell?’ I think as I open the letter. As soon as I begin reading it, I recognize the handwriting. It’s form Gil.
Warrick,
Hopefully after you have read this letter you will have a different opinion of me and my feelings about you.
You are one of my closest friends and these months without your friendship have made me realize what a fool I am. You accepted me from day one, bugs and all. You are the only one I have ever shared my passion of riding roller coasters with. While others may know about it, you are the first I ever actually took on a roller coaster ride with me. I could tell that you were uncomfortable, but you did anyway. For me. That was the first time someone had thought about me instead of themselves. It might seem like a nothing gesture to you, but it meant more to me than mere words can describe. The thing with Holly was just a natural response for me. I can admit, I might not have done the same thing for another CSI, but you have always been special to me. From the day I met you, your warmth and openness has appealed to me. I acted out of merely selfish reason during the Holly case. The thought of firing you was painful to say the least. I couldn’t imagine working at the lab without you being there. You kind and gentle presence was something I always looked forward to.
Then one night, I confided in you that I was afraid to be home alone since my hearing had been worsening. That alone told me how much I trusted you. I hadn’t even told Jim or Catherine about how scared I was, and they were the best friends I had. Al was one of the first to know about my hearing loss, and I didn’t even tell him that little bit of info. As much as my confession stunned me, nothing surprised me more than to open my front door and find you standing there. I couldn’t believe that you would rather sleep on my uncomfortable couch, at least for a man of your height, just to keep me from being scared. You might not know this, but your display of friendship brought tears to my eyes. Remember me excusing myself soon after your arrival? Even though you said I didn’t have a choice, I know you would have left if I had asked you to. What amazed me is that, being uncomfortable around others my entire life, I truly wanted you to say. I don’t think anything or anyone could have made me ask you to leave that night. You stayed with me before the surgery and afterwards. I would have loved for you to stay longer, but my guilt over your uncomfortable sleeping conditions made me tell you to go home. You protested, but I insisted and you finally went home. I couldn’t sleep at all that night, but I was happy that at least you were getting a good night’s sleep, even if I wasn’t. Then things between us escalated. We became friends, something I never expected. Before, I had always felt that our friendship was born out of necessity. I thought the only reason you were being so friendly towards me was because I was your boss. After the surgery I realized that it wasn’t true. You really wanted to be my friend, something that astounds me even now. The morning you kissed me will always stand out in my mind as one of the best moments in my life. It was unexpected, but as soon as I realized it was not just my imagination, I kissed you back. That morning was amazing, you were so attentive and gentle with me, and I have never experienced a lover like you. You never asked for more than I could give, even though you probably should have. I used my need for privacy to keep our relationship secret, even from our closest friends. There was no reason for us not to tell them, just my insecurity. I had always felt that our relationship was destined to be short-lived, so I felt that the less people that knew about it in the first place, the better. I guess I was right, as much as I regret it.
My insecurities made me push you away. I really didn’t think that Sara was capable of the things she did, but that doesn’t excuse my behavior. I should have known that you would never come to me with your suspicions unless you were sure. You have never lied to me, even if you thought it was better I not know. I let my demons from past relationships get in the way of our relationships. The thing with Sara was just a good excuse for me to push you away. I have never had anyone love me as completely as you. Every time I have ever had something going good in my life, it was always snatched away. That left me afraid of everything that was happening in our relationship. We were so happy; I just knew something would happen to take that away. I pushed you away trying to protect myself from the pain of losing you. I didn’t realize that no matter how I lost you, it would hurt just as much, maybe more.
Warrick, I am sorry if I made you feel as if I didn’t respect you or trust you. Nothing could be further from the truth. The situation with Sara made me realize just how big a mistake I had made. If she still thought there was even a remot possibility of a relationship between us, then I hadn’t been aggressive enough in showing her that there wasn’t. It also meant that I wasn’t showing you enough either. I never meant to hurt you, and I hope that one day you can forgive me. I hope you can find someone that can love you the way you deserve, you are worthy of nothing less.
I Love You Always,
Gil
As I wipe the tears from my eyes, someone hands me a handkerchief. I look up to see Gil staring down at me.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“May I?” he gestures to Greg’s seat. I nod to him and he takes the seat. “Did you read my letter?”
“Yes.”
“Do you believe what I said in it?”
“I don’t know Gil. You hurt me in a lot of ways, I don’t know if I can trust you not to do that again.”
“I understand. Warrick, I am not asking for you to let me back into your life. I would love that, but that’s not what this is about. Everything I said in that letter is true. I love you. I don’t know why I pushed you away. The only explanation I can give you ise fear and ignorance. I was afraid that what we had would be taken away. I have never felt a love for anyone in my life like the one I feel for you. I have always been insecure wArrick, it’s one of my many faults. I have been in past relationships, some I thought would last forever, but eventually they ended. The love dwindled, they became uniterested, or I did,and we drifted apart. I was afraid that would happen to us.”
Taking my hand in his, Gil continued, “I pushed you away, and I’m sorry for that. Our problems began before Sara and my standing behind her didn’t help at all. I used her as a scapegoat for the problems in our relationship and it almost cost you your life.” I watch as the tears begin to fall from his eyes, “When I heard that you had been shot, I didn’t know what to do. I felt like my entire world had crumbled down around me and there was nothing I could do. Then I got the hospital and they said you would be okay. When yu said Sara tried to kill you I couldn’t believe it. Instead of standing by you, I let old habits take place. At the time I couldn’t understand why I did what I did. I know now that I acted out of fear. The blinding pain I felt when I thought you had been killed scared me. I had never known it was possible for me to feel so strongly for anyone, Warrick. In an act of self-preservation, I pushed you away yet again. I guess I felt that if I pushed you away, I could protect myself from ever feeling that pain again. Then you crashed, and basically died before my eyes.”
I watch as he takes deep breaths, trying to keep his emotions under control so he can finish. After a few moments, he continues, “Rick, the time it took for the doctors to save you, although mere minutes, felt like days to me. All I could see was the pain on your face as you told me to get out, then your eyes as they glossed over and your body slumped down And I kept thinking over and over ‘I killed him, I killed him!’ I vowed then and there that if God brought you back to me, I would never doubt you again. Then the doctor come out and told me you were alive. He wouldn’t let me see you, fearing I would be a detriment to your health. He was probably right. Two days later, I finally went home, to our home. I saw the letter that you had written me. As I read the words, I could feel and see the pain I had caused you. I am so sorry for that Warrick, I never meant to hurt you, please know that. Then, the same night Sara and Hank were arrested for your attempted murder, Nick told me you were awake. I couldn’t believe it, even though I am not religious, I still thanked God that he had brought you back to me. Then when I came to the hospital, you told me it was over. I realized that no matter what, I had hurt you beyond repair.”
Taking a sip of water, Gil continues, “When you requested a transfer to Swing, I knew it was truly over. So I began to distance myself from you, only talking to you when it was absolutely necessary. It was too painful for me to even be friends with you Warrick. Then Catherine and Jim made me realize something. I don’t deserve you. I had betrayed you in the worse way possible, and then I didn’t try to make it up to you. Yeah, I apologized, but without actions to back it up, what does that mean? Nothing. This brings me to why I am here.”
Reaching into his pocket, Gil pulls out a small box, and looks at me. “Warrick, when we were together, I always had a problem with making our relationship public. You allowed me to do that, although I know that you still would have preferred to tell others about it. Now, I know we aren’t together, but I want you to have this as a token of how I feel about you.” He hands me the box, and leaves without any more words.
I open the rectangle box, and stare at a pair of engraved dog tags. As I read the inscription, I can feel the tears form in my eyes. The first inscription reads, “I am not the me I want to be without you.” The second one is in French, “Mon piété c'est à vous.” I sit there for a long moment, looking at the dog tags, noticing the initials below each inscription. G.G. It may seem like a small gesture, but it isn’t. It means more to me than any words Gil could have said. I am overcome with emotion as I stare at the symbols of Gil's love, tears flowing freely from my eyes.
“Sir, are you okay?” asks the waitress looking at me with concern.
“Yes ma’am, I am very okay. Just in love,” I reply, before I get up and run after my man.
All of our problems might not be solved in one night, but at least it’s a start. Love isn't perfect and it doesn't need to be. For me love is a bow-legged, socially inept entomologist, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
THE END
Translation:
Mon piété c'est à vous - My devotion is to you
For a pic of Warrick's dog tags, click below:
Warrick's Dog Tags
Grabbing his hand, I looked into his barely open eye, and whispered, “Welcome back, love. How are you feeling?”
Smiling weakly, Warrick signed to me that he needed water. After pouring him some water into a cup, I held it for him as he drank from the straw. “As well as can be expected, I guess. You look like hell though.”
“I’m fine now that you are awake. But you should be resting, not worrying over me; I wasn’t the one that was shot.”
Laughing quietly, “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be forgetting that anytime soon.” Sighing deeply, “Nick told me Jim and Cath caught the guy that shot me. Holly‘s brother, huh? I guess I can understand his reasoning. He holds me responsible for his sister’s death, so did the media. Hell, I still feel responsible for it, something I have to live with everyday.”
“He might have his reasons for what he did, but it doesn’t excuse it.” Reaching up, I cupped Warrick’s cheek, “Baby, you were right, Sara was behind this too. She didn’t pull the trigger, but she might as well have, she’s just as culpable. So am I. I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you; I should have known you were telling the truth. Warrick, I am so sorry.”
“Nick told me about Sara too; well he gave me the basics. It’s still hard to believe she would do all of this because she thought I was a threat to her happiness, but I’ll have a scar to remind me. And I do accept you apology Gil, however late it may be.”
Trying to ignore the bitterness in his voice, I leaned forward to kiss him, only to feel him pull away. Looking into his eyes in confusion, he continued, “Gil, from what Nick and the doctor’s told me, I was unconscious for several days. I’m assuming that in that time you at least went home.” Nodding yes, I watch as Warrick’s beautiful eyes fill with tears. “So I know you saw the letter I wrote to you. Although I forgive you, I still mean everything that I wrote in that letter. It’s over between us Gil.” Letting go of my hand, Warrick rolled over to his side, his back facing me.
Stunned I stared at his back for several minutes. I notice the slight tremor of his shoulders as he tried to suppress his cries.‘It’s over between us Gil,’ Warrick’s voice echoed in my head. In a matter of my moments I had regained and lost the love of my life. With that realization, I left the hospital. I noticed the shock registering on Nick’s face, probably due to the tears streaming down mine, but I didn’t care. All that I had ever cared about was lying in a hospital bed wanting nothing to do with me.
~*~
That was two months ago, and my life since then has changed drastically. Warrick has returned to work, after requesting to be transferred back to Swing shift under Catherine. I can’t blame him; I wouldn’t want to work with me either. A day after our break up, he called me. The conversation was brief; he told me that he wanted to send Nick to pick up his things, as he would be staying with Nick until he found an apartment. He asked if I could pack up his things, if I couldn’t he said he would just come and get them once he was released. As much as I wanted to see him, I told him not to worry that I would pack the things up for him. Packing his things was torture for me. I had never realized exactly how much stuff I had given Warrick over the course of our relationship. There was the lion I had won for him in at Circus Circus, the green eyes and mane reminded me of Warrick. Then there was the Bob Marley belt I had bought him. Although I thought his taste in belt buckles was a little ostentatious, I knew he would love it, and he did. Then there was the portrait of his Grandmother that I had painted for him after she died. He cried in my arms that night. As I continued to pack his things, I realized how much Warrick had enriched my life and how empty I would feel once he was gone.
When Nick came to pick up Warrick’s belongings, he kept apologizing. I told him that he had no reason to apologize.
“But Grissom, I treated you terribly when Warrick was in the hospital. I wouldn’t even let you see him!” Nick exclaimed.
“You did what you felt was best for Warrick, Nicky. I think you were probably right anyway. He didn’t need me around; he needed his rest so he could heal.”
“I’m still sorry, Griss. I should have been a better friend to you.
“Warrick is your best friend Nick; I would have been more upset if you hadn’t done what you needed to make sure Warrick was safe. In keeping his best interest in mind, you were a better friend to me than you know. So stop beating yourself up, me and you are fine. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good, now get outta here.”
“Yeah, I guess I better get going,” Nick said as he turned to leave, the last box of Warrick’s stuff in his hands. “Gil, I’m really sorry things turned out this way, I really wish you guys could have worked it out.”
“Me too, Nicky. Me too,” I replied as I shut the door behind him.
Nick’s POV
When I walked out of Gil’s apartment, my heart was heavy. The only time I had seen Grissom looking so sad was the night Rick broke up with him. I knew it was coming, but there was nothing I could do about it.
~*~
I had only just hung up with Gil ten minutes before, when Warrick’s nurse called me on my cell. “He’s awake,” was all I heard before I jumped in my Tahoe and raced to the hospital. I knew I should call the others and tell them, but I had to make sure he was okay. It might have been selfish, but I couldn’t help it. When I reached the hospital, I parked and ran to Rick’s room. The doctor was just leaving when he saw me. “Mr. Stokes, he’s fine. There was need for you to rush so quickly.”
Breathless, “Well, when I receive a call….saying my best friend… is awake… you bet your ass I rushed.”
Laughing, Dr. Thompson replied, “Well, I guess that’s understandable. Anyway, Mr. Brown is doing well. He is still breathing on his own and his vitals are strong. He is a fighter; otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to make it this far. His body has been through a lot so he needs his rest.”
“How long before he can be released?”
“That all depends on Mr. Brown. If he continues to progress at his current rate it will be about two weeks at the very least.”
“Can I see him?”
“Yes, but not for too long. Like I said he needs his rest and not too much excitement.”
“Thanks, Doc,” I said before entering Warrick’s room. I stood there watching him as he slept, watching the rise and fall of his chest.
“You gonna stand there staring at me all day, or are you gonna say something?” Warrick asked, opening his eyes, with a slight smile on his lips.
Not missing a beat I replied, “I was just waiting for you to stop playing possum.” Pulling up a chair beside his bed, “How are you buddy? You had us all scared shitless.”
“Chest hurts like hell, but the meds are helping with that. Sorry about scaring you didn’t mean to.”
“Don’t worry about me; it’s not your fault you’re here. Man! Everyone’s gonna be so happy when they hear you’re awake.”
“Yeah, especially Sara, she’ll be thrilled.”
“She was arrested 'Rick. Jim and Cath found the man that shot you and he fingered her as his accomplice. All the evidence we have proves it.”
“I told you. Who was the shooter anyway?”
“I told you I believed you. Anyway, it was Hank Gribbs, Holly’s brother. He blamed you for her death, and with Sara’s help, he almost killed you to get his revenge.”
“Holly’s brother? Well, I guess he let his hatred for me grow for years how, not that I blame him. I still blame myself sometimes, but Jim has been helping me get over it as much as possible. How did he meet up with Sara?”
“'Rick, we can talk about that when you get more of your strength back, right now you need to rest.”
“Yes, mom. Anyway, where is everyone? I thought people would be busting at the seams to see me,” Warrick replied with a smirk.
“Conceited much? I haven’t called anyone yet, I just rushed over here as soon as I got the call. I was gonna call them as soon as I saw for myself that you are okay.”
“Well, could you do me a favor? Call Gil first, I need to talk to him before I see anyone else. Can you do that for me?”
Sensing by the furrow in Warrick’s brow that his conversation with Gil wasn’t going to be pleasant, I said, “Warrick, now is not the best time for you to talk to Gil, you know what happened last time. We almost lost you. Wait until you get stronger, then you can talk to him, please.”
“Nick, you are my best friend, so I know you are trying to do what’s best for me. But I have to talk to Gil as soon a possible. If you won’t call him for me, I’ll have a burse bring me a phone, and I’ll do it myself.”
Groaning in frustration, “Stubborn ass. Okay Rick, I’ll call Gil, but after you talk to him, promise me you will get some sleep, please.”
“I promise. Now go!”
Holding up my hands in mock surrender, “Okay, okay. I’m going!”
~*~
When I arrived at the lab, everyone was back to work. Greg saw me coming down the hall and made a beeline for me. “What’s up Nick?”
“Nothing much.” I know I promised Warrick, but I couldn’t help myself, besides Greg wouldn’t tell anyone. “Just that Warrick’s awake.”
“Really?!” Greg squealed.
“Keep your voice down. Yes, really, he just woke up and he’s doing fine, but he still has a long road to recovery ahead of him.”
“Sorry, I’m just glad he’s gonna be okay. I’ve missed you since he’s been sick. I know it’s selfish, but maybe know you can spend sometime at home instead of the hospital.”
Pulling Greg into the locker room, I looked around before stealing a kiss. “I’m sorry, but I’ve missed you too. And my back missed our comfy bed,” I said as I stretched, hearing the popping of my protesting back.
“Well, maybe if you’re good, I’ll give you a massage.”
“When, am I not good? Even when I’m bad, I’m so good at it,” I said with a lick of lips. “Don’t do that! I have six more hours of work, and it’s gonna be a little difficult to concentrate with all the little dirty images you are putting in my mind.”
Kissing him again, “Sorry, but I promise to make it up to you. Where’s Gil?”
“Thanks, that’s a great way to kill the mood. He’s in his office, why do you ask?”
“Warrick wants to see him. And before you say it, I know. I told Warrick it’s not a good idea, but he insisted. Said if I didn’t he would do it himself. Knowing him, I don’t doubt he would. So, here I am. I’ll see you in a bit,” I said as I turned to leave. “And Greg? Don’t tell anyone that Warrick’s awake. He wants to talk to Griss first before he sees anyone else.”
“It’s my little secret. See ya later, Nick.”
Closing the door behind me, I headed to Gil’s office, knocking quietly. “Go away,” is what I got in response. Peeking my head in, I saw Gil rubbing the bridge of his noise. Before I could say anything, Grissom said, “Nick, I don’t feel like discussing it right now. I know Warrick was right, and I know I should have listened to him. I just don’t have the energy to deal with your guilt trip and mine at the same time.”
I know I didn’t deserve his patience, considering how I had treated him during the entire ordeal, so I simply told him “Warrick’s awake,” before closing the door and walking away.
Moments later, I heard Grissom’s hurried footsteps down the hall. By the time he reached the exit, he was running. ‘Too bad he doesn’t realize what he’s running to.’
I reached the hospital just in time to prevent Grissom from throttling the on duty nurse. “I need to see him!”
“I’m sorry sir, but Mr. Stokes hasn’t added you to the approved list of visitors and at this time Mr. Brown is not allowed to make that decision.”
“Whoa, whoa! It’s okay , ma’am. He can see Warrick, I just forgot to put him on the list.”
“Okay sir, if you say so. Just as long as he doesn’t upset Mr. Brown, it’s fine.”
“He won’t. Come on Griss.” I lead him to Warrick’s room, then left him and returned to the waiting room. As I waited, I could only imagine what was happening in that room. Before he was shot, Warrick had told me how it seemed Gil was looking for any reason to push him away. Sara’s actions didn’t help and neither did Gil’s obvious lack of trust in him. I always wondered if Gil had done so on purpose, you know pushing Warrick away. There had to be a reason for the sudden unwavering belief in Sara. Leaning against the waiting room, I hoped that whatever it is, Gil could make it up to Warrick. Everyone always spouts off about how much Warrick helped Gil. No one seemed to notice was just how much good Gil did for Warrick. He wasn’t as hot-headed as he once was, he was a lot happier, and he was more relaxed. I know I hadn’t been exactly rooting for Warrick/Gil lately, but that was just anger and fear talking. Gil was right for Warrick, they complimented each other in a way I never thought possible.
I looked up when I saw Gil coming out of the ICU area. He was crying! I hadn’t seen many men cry in my life, not including myself, and Gil was the last person I ever expected to see tears from. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence, just walked right out of the hospital, tears streaming down his face. I immediately called Catherine and told her what happened. She of course promised to rip me apart for not telling her Warrick was awake, but I told her that Gil needed her right away. She haung up with me, telling me she was heading to his condo.
Turning my phone off, I slipped it into my pocket, and headed to Warrick’s room. The sight I saw upon entering broke my heart. My best friend was lying on his side, facing the wall opposite the door, trying to control his sobs. Moving closer to the bed, I could hear the soft cries coming from him. I moved the chair from earlier around to the other side of the bed, and sitting down I reached my hand out, squeezing Warrick’s hand. That’s all it took, and he broke down in my arms, with heart wrenching sobs. I had never seen Warrick so broken, not even after his Gram’s died. Yeah, he cried but I had never seen the pain on his face that I saw then. He really loved Gil and it was killing him not to be able to be with him. His sob’s became more uncontrollable and his blood pressure began to rise. Pushing the call button, I waited for the nurse to come into the room. Holding my friend in my arm, I asked her if she could get the doctor and explain what was going on. She nodded, leaving the room quietly. Dr. Thompson entered the room just as quietly, upon seeing Warrick, he pulled out a syringe, and emptied its contents into Warrick’s IV. “What’s that?” I asked.
“A mild sedative, it will help to calm him down. He should be fine tomorrow.”
As Warrick’s cries got softer, I asked the doctor, “Are you sure? I’ve never seen him like this.”
“Yes, he should be fine. There’s nothing that we can do for what he’s feeling right now. Heartbreak has to mend on its own,” Seeing my look of confusion, he clarified, “The nurse described to me the gentlemen that was here before his breakdown. Mr. Grissom I believe. From what happened before, I gathered that they are, were, in a relationship. It would seem to me that one of them ended it today. So like I said, heartbreak must heal on its own. All you can do is to be there for him when he needs you to be.”
“Thanks, Dr. Thompson.”
“I’ll send the charge nurse in with a blanket for you Mr. Stokes, goodnight.”
“Goodnight Doc.”
~*~
The next morning, Warrick was very quiet, barely touching his food. When Catherine and Greg came by he perked up a little, but not much. They didn’t stay long, knowing the reason for his despondency. Warrick, being the good friend he is, told me to go home. “Go home, Nick. Greg probably misses you, ain’t that right Greggo?”
“Not really, he hogs the covers. He can stay here as long as he wants. See ya, Rick.”
With a small smile on his face, Warrick replied, “See ya Greg. Bye Cath.” Catherine leaned over, placing a gentle kiss to his cheek, “See you later Warrick.” As she passed me on the way out, she whispered in my ear, “Take care of him Nicky, he needs you,” before placing a kiss to my cheek and heading out the door. Greg squeezed my hand, gave me a nod of understanding, and followed her out the door.
Taking my vacant seat next to his bed, I gently squeezed Rick’s hand. “How ya doing buddy?”
“I miss him, Nicky. I didn’t think it would hurt this much, but I feel like a piece of my heart is missing.”
“I won’t tell you I know how it feels, ‘cause I don’t. All I can say is that it will get easier with time. I’ll be here if you need me, you know that.”
“Can you do me a favor?”
“Name it.”
“Can you pick my things up from Gil’s place?”
“Are you sure you want to do that Rick?”
“No, but I have to. It’s over between us. As much as this hurts, nothing can compare to the way it felt to see his lack of trust in me day in and out. Believe me, there is no chance I will go back to him.”
“If you’re sure. Do you want me to call him?”
“No, I’ll do it. Might as well get used to talking to him, I will have to see him when I go back to work.”
I sat there as he used the phone, his voice emotionless as he arranged for me to pick up his things the next day. After he hung up, he rolled onto his side, facing away from me, and went to sleep.
I sat there and watched my friend and prayed that things would work out somehow.
The next day, as I left Gil’s house, I prayed that prayer again. The despair in Gil’s eyes was unbearable, but I didn’t know what to do.
~*~
TWO MONTHS LATER:
Catherine’s POV
When Sara and Hank reached a plea deal I was happy. I don’t think Warrick or Gil could have handled it. Luckily Warrick has had Nick and Greg to help him. They were by his side during the aftermath of his breakup with Gil, picking up the pieces, and slowly putting him back together. He stayed with them for a while after he was released from the hospital, before moving into his own apartment. They helped him get settled in, staying nights, although he hadn’t asked them to. Warrick was uncomfortable staying alone, mostly due to the thing with Sara, but also because he was used to having someone around after being with Gil for so long. Eventually he got used to it, and Nick and Greg stopped staying over, except for the occasional time when they had too much to drink and he wouldn’t let them drive home. So they slept in his guest room.
Gil on the other hand is a different story. As I enter Gil’s office, I find him sitting there quietly doing a crossword puzzle. He looks terrible; the last two months have definitely taken a toll on him. He’s lost weight, and he rarely does anything outside of work. He hasn’t even ridden a rollercoaster in all this time. Believe me; I actually went down to that damn place to see if Gil had been there. His friend told me he hadn’t seen him in months. That was the last straw. Instead of going home after my shift, one of the few in a long time that wasn’t a double, I went to Gil’s office. “Get up off of your ass and go get your man, Gil!”
Looking at me startled, he replies, “Catherine, I realize you are trying to help, but Warrick made his choice. He doesn’t want me.”
Sitting down in front of his desk, “Dammit Gil! Even Sara was willing to fight for you. Are you saying Warrick deserves less than that? How can you sit here and let your man go off with someone else without putting up a fight?”
“Warrick’s seeing someone? Who?”
“Oh, now you’re interested?”
“Please Cath, just tell me.”
“Okay. He hasn’t been seeing him for long, but I know he has been dating a fireman named Jeff Swanson. All I know is that if you want your man, you better go after him before it’s too late.”
“If Warrick’s dating someone, he has obviously moved on. You should too.”
“You know what Gil? As your best friend, I have one thing to say. You are an idiot! No wonder Warrick broke up with you, you couldn’t get a clue even if it was put on display in Neon signs. Warrick wants you to fight for him. After you didn’t stand by him over the Sara debacle, you think it’s gonna be easy? Well, it’s not! You are going to have to fight for him. He doesn’t trust you Gil, with good reason. You had better give him a damn good reason to even consider giving you another chance!”
“Cath--”
“No, Gil. I don’t want to hear any excuses. Warrick loves you, for whatever reason, he still loves you. He is only seeing this Jeff guy on the rebound, but that’s now. How long do you think that’s going to last? If you keep on waiting for him to come back to you, you will be waiting for the rest of your life. Warrick is a great catch, if he wasn’t gay, I would go after him myself. Having said that, there are some men out there that would love to have a prize like Warrick for themselves and if you keep waiting around, they are going to get him. Think about this long and hard, before you let the best thing that ever walked into your life go!”
With that, I walked out of his office leaving a stunned Gil Grissom staring after me. I love them both, and Gil is my absolute best friend, but he can be so oblivious at times! Hopefully that little tirade of mine will be the wake up call he needs.
Jim’s POV
“Why don’t you give him a call?”
“Who?”
“The Easter Bunny, Gil!. Who do you think? I’m talking about Warrick. I have been talking to you for the last 20 minutes and you haven’t heard a word I said. Plus, you’ve been holding that damn ladybug statue he gave you since I started talking. Call him, it’s obvious you want to.”
“Have you been talking to Catherine?”
Confused, I reply, “Catherine? No, I haven’t spoke with her since I worked that case with her at the Montecito the other day. Why?”
“She came into my office and told me to get off my ass and fight for Warrick.”
“Maybe you should listen to her. Look Gil, I know that it’s hard to swallow your pride and apologize for what you’ve done. But I have also learned that forgiveness can lead to great things. Look at my relationship with Warrick. We started off in the worst way, but we rose above our differences, and we are better for it. I love him like a son, and I knowhe loves me. He loves you too, he’s just hurt.”
“I apologized to him Jim, he said he forgave me, but he still broke up with me.”
“Gil, you always say follow the evidence, the evidence doesn’t lie. What exactly do you think the evidence is telling Warrick? You apologized sure, but words are just that, words. You haven’t fought for him, mad no drunken tirades for his love in the middle of the night. Hell, Gil you hardly speak to him at work. The evidence is speaking loud and clear. It says, ‘Warrick, I don’t love you. It was a mistake I ever got together with you. You are not worth fighting for.’ At least that what it says to Warrick.” Turning to face my friend, “Gil, look at me. Warrick needs you. You need him. Not to sound like a scene from Jerry Maguire, but you guys complete each other. So get up off your ass and fight for your man!”
“How do I do that?”
“I don’t know, you have to figure that out for yourself. Think about the one thing that you know Warrick wanted from you when you were together, that you couldn’t give. Then give it to him. That’s the only advice I can give you.”
“Thanks Jim, for everything.”
“Hey what are friends for? Now, I’ve got to get home, my bed is calling me. You gonna be alright?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Goodnight Jim.”
“Goodnight Gil,” I say as I walk out of Gil’s condo into the sunlight. Hopefully Gil will take my advice and prove to Warrick that he loves him. Warrick may be saying he doesn’t want Gil back, but the evidence is speaking loud and clear. Putting on my shades, I get in my car, and drive home.
Gil’s POV
Gil,
By the time you read this letter, I have at least let you know that I can no longer be in a relationship with you. Most likely I left a lot of your questions unanswered. You probably have no idea why this has happened. As sad as that is, I know you. So here is a brief explanation.
Over the course of our relationship I tried to over look some of the things you did as just part of you being you. I can understand that you like your privacy, which is why I never pushed you to tell our friends about our relationship. Catherine already knew, and Greg probably had figured it out after that time in your office. He might not have caught us kissing, but they way he avoided my eyes every time I tried to talk to him that night pretty much told me everything. It came out eventually but I think we should have told Jim and Nick sooner. Good thing Brass and Nick took it in stride. So I let that slide, no need to dwell on what I couldn’t change. I even understood that sharing your emotions with me is hard; I have the same problem occasionally. So I never held that against you because I understood it. I know you love loved me, you always showed me in the little ways, even if you couldn’t say it very often.
Then there’s Sara. She has been a constant thorn in my side from day one. First it was only because she hated the thing with Holly, which I could understand a little. She was only doing her job, and our relationship as coworkers began on the wrong foot. I was able to put that aside and keep things between us professional. It only escalated when she discovered our relationship. Remember the day I told you Sara had seen us in the locker room? You were horrified, afraid that she would out us to Ecklie. I told you she wouldn’t, that would mean she had to acknowledge that we were actually together, which would eliminate any possibility of her getting together with you. You told me I was being crazy, that Sara wasn’t interested in you. Then she asked you out, and you were dumbfounded. You let her down gently, thinking that was the last of it. I told you later what happened between me and her in the break room, the threats she made. I admit, it was inappropriate for me to confront her at the lab, but it didn’t excuse her behavior. I know it must have been a shock learning about us, but having the nerve to ask you out afterwards? I told you about her threat when we got home, which you again said was ridiculous, that she couldn’t have really meant it. I agreed, feeling that it was simply her anger talking. Then things started to happen every time I worked with her. Evidence mysteriously disappeared, only for her to discover it later. Notes and presentations were deleted from my computer before my appearances in court. I told you I suspected it was Sara, but again, you refused to believe she was capable of it. The only time you believed that she had done anything was when Greg backed me up. Even then you just said it was a miscommunication, so once again, not really serious. Then you had the audacity to tell me that unless I took sometime off to get my head straight, you would restrict me to lab duty only! I left that night, completely bewildered that you could think so little of me. As I lay in that hotel bed, I reflected on our relationship.
When everything happened with Holly you sacrificed everything, your reputation, your peer’s respect, and your career, all to stand by me. I think I fell in love with you at that moment; the devotion you showed me was like nothing I have ever experienced from anyone other than my grandmother. After that I made it my mission to prove my worth to you. I worked hard and we even became friends. I had only wanted to earn your respect, but gaining your friendship was a bonus. Then you opened up to me and confided that you were scared to be alone in your home since your hearing had started to get worse. I wanted to alleviate that fear so I decided to stay at your house until you had your surgery. The look of shock on your face was worth the possibility that you might slam the door in my face. But you didn’t and we grew closer in that week and the three days after you were released from the hospital. We worked together more often, took breaks together, and you laughed at my jokes, even the lame ones. Then morning after breakfast, you asked me back to your place for coffee, I took a chance and kissed you. I held my breath until I felt you kissing me back. Today is the first time I have ever regretted taking that chance.
Gil, I don’t know what I have done to make you lose faith and trust in me. Whatever it is, I wish I could change it, but I can’t. If love, trust, and devotion to you are not enough to earn your trust in me, then I am sorry. I can no longer make myself crazy with trying to please you. You have told me repeatedly that you have no interest in Sara, and while I believe you, I don’t believe you can love me the way I need you to. I deserve better than that. As much as I love you, I realize it’s not enough. So, as much as it tears my heart apart to do this, I have to. It’s over Gil.
Sincerely,
Warrick
That’s the letter Warrick wrote me after our argument. I have read it several times since our breakup, but today it strikes a chord with me that I hadn’t felt before. As I wipe the tears from my eyes and fold up the letter, I know what I must do.
Getting in my car, I think about what my friends said. Catherine and Jim are right, I have to fight for Warrick. My betrayal cannot be forgiven by mere apologies. I have to show Warrick just how much I love him. I have tell him exactly how much he means to me.
Pulling up to the jewelry store, I take off my shades, before going in. I look around at all of the display cases, waiting until my eyes land upon just what I am looking for. “I’ll take that one,” I tell the saleslady.
“Great choice sir. Would you like to add an inscription?”
“How long does it take before it will be ready?”
“Two weeks, with an additional fee of $30 dollars. Three days if you want it rushed, which costs and assitional $75.”
“Put a rush on it.”
“Okay sir, I’ll put a rush on it. You can write down what you would like the inscription to read on this form, give as detailed a description of what you want as possible, so our engraver can be accurate. Don’t forget to include your contact information, in case we need to contact you for any reason,” she said handing me a form.
I quickly fill in the correct information, while she rings up my purchase. Handing the form over, she hands me back my credit card and receipt, “Thank you, have a nice day.”
“You too, sir.”
I pull my cell phone out of my pocket as I get into my car, turning the air conditioner on.
“Willows.”
“Catherine, its Gil. I’m trying to take your advice but I need your help. Can you meet me at my house after your shift?”
“Sure, I’ll be there.”
“Thanks Cath,” I say before hanging up. I know Jim’s gonna be pissed, but it was his idea too, so I pull out of the jewelry store parking lot and head to his house.
Once I get to his house, I rush up to his front door. Knocking loudly, I hear him curse as he makes his way to the door, “I’m coming!” Swinging the door open forcefully, “Gil? What the hell are you doing here this early shouldn’t you be asleep, I know I was.”
“Well, too bad. Put on a pot of coffee, we’ve got work to do.”
Greg’s POV
I don’t know why he choose me, I just know Gil called and asked me to rush over to his house. I didn’t question it, as it is the first sign of life he has shown in two months, and I’m curious as to the change. That’s how I find myself here at a restaurant with Warrick, instead of at home asleep, where I would rather be. Don’t get me wrong, I want to help Gil, but why did he have to choose my one off day for his little… whatever. I don’t even know what’s going on, he would only give me instructions as to what he was doing. Once he assured me he wasn’t trying to hurt Warrick, I agreed to help him. If this meant that him and Warrick would at least be on speaking terms, who am I to argue?
“Greggo, you look a little nervous. What’s up?” Warrick says, staring at me intently.
“Nothing, I just feel a little funny all dressed up.”
“So, why did you ask me to such a fancy place?”
“Well, Nick was complaining about us never going out to fancy places, so I thought I would try this out first,” I lie. Nick hates getting dressed up to go out to eat. ‘I’m a beer and barbecue kinda guy, G. Who needs a suit to eat that?’ he always tells me.
“Why did you invite me instead of Nick?” Warrick asks, taking a drink from his wine glass.
“Well, I wanted to try the food out first, before I bring Nick here. It’s our three month anniversary next week, and I want to take him somewhere special. It would kinda ruin the mood if the food sucked, right?”
Laughing, Warrick replies, “Yeah I guess so. When are we gonna eat anyway?”
As if on cue, the waitress brings over our meals at that moment, in covered trays, “I ordered for us, I hope you don’t mind. It’s Nick’s favorite meal and I wanted your opinion.”
“Well, let’s dig in then.”
“Go ahead and start without me. I’ll be right back,” I say, leaving the table before Warrick can protest. My part of the plan is complete, so I am free to go home and collapse into my bed. Once I get these damn clothes off!
Warrick’s POV
Something’s up, I can feel it. Greg’s always very animated, but never this nervous. And I know Nick hates fancy places like the place Greg has bought me to. Greg knows this, I’m sure of it. But I’ll humor him.
Eating dinner with him is better than the alternative: sitting at home watching some idiotic sitcome or going out on a date with Jeff and comparing him to Gil the whole time. ‘Gil doesn’t hold his fork like that,’ Gil doesn’t laught like that’, Gil’s smile is so much sexier.’ I drive myself comparing everyone I date to Gil. I like Jeff, but I think he knows this is going nowhere. He didn't even wuestion it when I cancelled our date tonight so I could go out with Greg.It’s been hell since Gil and I broke up, especially since he won’t even look at me. As hard as I knew it would be, I had hoped we could at least be friends.
‘Where the hell is Greg?’ I think as my stomach growls. Looking around, I see he is no where to be found. ‘Forget it.’ I think before lifting the top on my tray. Instead of food, I find a letter. The envelope simply reads: To Warrick.
‘What the hell?’ I think as I open the letter. As soon as I begin reading it, I recognize the handwriting. It’s form Gil.
Warrick,
Hopefully after you have read this letter you will have a different opinion of me and my feelings about you.
You are one of my closest friends and these months without your friendship have made me realize what a fool I am. You accepted me from day one, bugs and all. You are the only one I have ever shared my passion of riding roller coasters with. While others may know about it, you are the first I ever actually took on a roller coaster ride with me. I could tell that you were uncomfortable, but you did anyway. For me. That was the first time someone had thought about me instead of themselves. It might seem like a nothing gesture to you, but it meant more to me than mere words can describe. The thing with Holly was just a natural response for me. I can admit, I might not have done the same thing for another CSI, but you have always been special to me. From the day I met you, your warmth and openness has appealed to me. I acted out of merely selfish reason during the Holly case. The thought of firing you was painful to say the least. I couldn’t imagine working at the lab without you being there. You kind and gentle presence was something I always looked forward to.
Then one night, I confided in you that I was afraid to be home alone since my hearing had been worsening. That alone told me how much I trusted you. I hadn’t even told Jim or Catherine about how scared I was, and they were the best friends I had. Al was one of the first to know about my hearing loss, and I didn’t even tell him that little bit of info. As much as my confession stunned me, nothing surprised me more than to open my front door and find you standing there. I couldn’t believe that you would rather sleep on my uncomfortable couch, at least for a man of your height, just to keep me from being scared. You might not know this, but your display of friendship brought tears to my eyes. Remember me excusing myself soon after your arrival? Even though you said I didn’t have a choice, I know you would have left if I had asked you to. What amazed me is that, being uncomfortable around others my entire life, I truly wanted you to say. I don’t think anything or anyone could have made me ask you to leave that night. You stayed with me before the surgery and afterwards. I would have loved for you to stay longer, but my guilt over your uncomfortable sleeping conditions made me tell you to go home. You protested, but I insisted and you finally went home. I couldn’t sleep at all that night, but I was happy that at least you were getting a good night’s sleep, even if I wasn’t. Then things between us escalated. We became friends, something I never expected. Before, I had always felt that our friendship was born out of necessity. I thought the only reason you were being so friendly towards me was because I was your boss. After the surgery I realized that it wasn’t true. You really wanted to be my friend, something that astounds me even now. The morning you kissed me will always stand out in my mind as one of the best moments in my life. It was unexpected, but as soon as I realized it was not just my imagination, I kissed you back. That morning was amazing, you were so attentive and gentle with me, and I have never experienced a lover like you. You never asked for more than I could give, even though you probably should have. I used my need for privacy to keep our relationship secret, even from our closest friends. There was no reason for us not to tell them, just my insecurity. I had always felt that our relationship was destined to be short-lived, so I felt that the less people that knew about it in the first place, the better. I guess I was right, as much as I regret it.
My insecurities made me push you away. I really didn’t think that Sara was capable of the things she did, but that doesn’t excuse my behavior. I should have known that you would never come to me with your suspicions unless you were sure. You have never lied to me, even if you thought it was better I not know. I let my demons from past relationships get in the way of our relationships. The thing with Sara was just a good excuse for me to push you away. I have never had anyone love me as completely as you. Every time I have ever had something going good in my life, it was always snatched away. That left me afraid of everything that was happening in our relationship. We were so happy; I just knew something would happen to take that away. I pushed you away trying to protect myself from the pain of losing you. I didn’t realize that no matter how I lost you, it would hurt just as much, maybe more.
Warrick, I am sorry if I made you feel as if I didn’t respect you or trust you. Nothing could be further from the truth. The situation with Sara made me realize just how big a mistake I had made. If she still thought there was even a remot possibility of a relationship between us, then I hadn’t been aggressive enough in showing her that there wasn’t. It also meant that I wasn’t showing you enough either. I never meant to hurt you, and I hope that one day you can forgive me. I hope you can find someone that can love you the way you deserve, you are worthy of nothing less.
I Love You Always,
Gil
As I wipe the tears from my eyes, someone hands me a handkerchief. I look up to see Gil staring down at me.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“May I?” he gestures to Greg’s seat. I nod to him and he takes the seat. “Did you read my letter?”
“Yes.”
“Do you believe what I said in it?”
“I don’t know Gil. You hurt me in a lot of ways, I don’t know if I can trust you not to do that again.”
“I understand. Warrick, I am not asking for you to let me back into your life. I would love that, but that’s not what this is about. Everything I said in that letter is true. I love you. I don’t know why I pushed you away. The only explanation I can give you ise fear and ignorance. I was afraid that what we had would be taken away. I have never felt a love for anyone in my life like the one I feel for you. I have always been insecure wArrick, it’s one of my many faults. I have been in past relationships, some I thought would last forever, but eventually they ended. The love dwindled, they became uniterested, or I did,and we drifted apart. I was afraid that would happen to us.”
Taking my hand in his, Gil continued, “I pushed you away, and I’m sorry for that. Our problems began before Sara and my standing behind her didn’t help at all. I used her as a scapegoat for the problems in our relationship and it almost cost you your life.” I watch as the tears begin to fall from his eyes, “When I heard that you had been shot, I didn’t know what to do. I felt like my entire world had crumbled down around me and there was nothing I could do. Then I got the hospital and they said you would be okay. When yu said Sara tried to kill you I couldn’t believe it. Instead of standing by you, I let old habits take place. At the time I couldn’t understand why I did what I did. I know now that I acted out of fear. The blinding pain I felt when I thought you had been killed scared me. I had never known it was possible for me to feel so strongly for anyone, Warrick. In an act of self-preservation, I pushed you away yet again. I guess I felt that if I pushed you away, I could protect myself from ever feeling that pain again. Then you crashed, and basically died before my eyes.”
I watch as he takes deep breaths, trying to keep his emotions under control so he can finish. After a few moments, he continues, “Rick, the time it took for the doctors to save you, although mere minutes, felt like days to me. All I could see was the pain on your face as you told me to get out, then your eyes as they glossed over and your body slumped down And I kept thinking over and over ‘I killed him, I killed him!’ I vowed then and there that if God brought you back to me, I would never doubt you again. Then the doctor come out and told me you were alive. He wouldn’t let me see you, fearing I would be a detriment to your health. He was probably right. Two days later, I finally went home, to our home. I saw the letter that you had written me. As I read the words, I could feel and see the pain I had caused you. I am so sorry for that Warrick, I never meant to hurt you, please know that. Then, the same night Sara and Hank were arrested for your attempted murder, Nick told me you were awake. I couldn’t believe it, even though I am not religious, I still thanked God that he had brought you back to me. Then when I came to the hospital, you told me it was over. I realized that no matter what, I had hurt you beyond repair.”
Taking a sip of water, Gil continues, “When you requested a transfer to Swing, I knew it was truly over. So I began to distance myself from you, only talking to you when it was absolutely necessary. It was too painful for me to even be friends with you Warrick. Then Catherine and Jim made me realize something. I don’t deserve you. I had betrayed you in the worse way possible, and then I didn’t try to make it up to you. Yeah, I apologized, but without actions to back it up, what does that mean? Nothing. This brings me to why I am here.”
Reaching into his pocket, Gil pulls out a small box, and looks at me. “Warrick, when we were together, I always had a problem with making our relationship public. You allowed me to do that, although I know that you still would have preferred to tell others about it. Now, I know we aren’t together, but I want you to have this as a token of how I feel about you.” He hands me the box, and leaves without any more words.
I open the rectangle box, and stare at a pair of engraved dog tags. As I read the inscription, I can feel the tears form in my eyes. The first inscription reads, “I am not the me I want to be without you.” The second one is in French, “Mon piété c'est à vous.” I sit there for a long moment, looking at the dog tags, noticing the initials below each inscription. G.G. It may seem like a small gesture, but it isn’t. It means more to me than any words Gil could have said. I am overcome with emotion as I stare at the symbols of Gil's love, tears flowing freely from my eyes.
“Sir, are you okay?” asks the waitress looking at me with concern.
“Yes ma’am, I am very okay. Just in love,” I reply, before I get up and run after my man.
All of our problems might not be solved in one night, but at least it’s a start. Love isn't perfect and it doesn't need to be. For me love is a bow-legged, socially inept entomologist, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
THE END
Translation:
Mon piété c'est à vous - My devotion is to you
For a pic of Warrick's dog tags, click below:
Warrick's Dog Tags
